New Flowchart

Below is a helpful flowchart for those of you that are perplexed on the appropriateness of what to say when having sex. Found on BoingBoing...The "Bad" side is very, very funny.

Click on the image to see the full screen view.

Get That Witch Out of Here!

For all those people that think the Bay Area is some liberal paradise where every elected official is from the Green party, everyone smokes weed, homosexuality runs absolutely wild and terrorizes innocent bystanders, and black magic is performed on every street corner....check out this headline from the San Jose Mercury News:

Marin Farmers Market Asks Witch to Leave

The Rev. Joey Talley who also goes by the "Good Witch of West Marin" has been selling her brand of friendly witchcraft at the Marin Farmers market "year after year," but now market officials are kicking her out.

The best part of the story are the reasons she's getting the boot. Again, from the Mercury News...

"We don't want the market to become a free-for-all festival," said market manager Amelia Spilger. "I've had to turn down (applications from) masseuses, chiropractors and holistic healers. They all have a place in the community, but we have limited space in the market."

Vendor Russ Sartori said it's never bothered him to have Talley telling fortunes a few feet from his strawberry stand, but he can understand the association's position.

"Rules are rules," said Sartori, who operates Sartori's Strawberry Field in Tomales Bay. "She should just sell something."

Yes, clearly allowing witchcraft at the Marin Farmers Market would ruin the good name of the Marin Farmers Market. I was just talking with a friend today about how revered that market is! I believe, in terms of reputation, it ranks up there somewhere between George Washington and the Sun.

Now, for Mr. Sartori and his comment that Witchypoo should just sell something....SHE IS! SHE'S SELLING WITCHCRAFT!!! What do you got? Strawberries? Please! I can get that crap anywhere.

I say, let the witch stay because stimulating the economy comes in many forms.

Happy July 5th - Part II

It's not just about the fireworks, barbecue, and apple pie....it's also about the outfits!


This was taken at the Alameda 4th of July parade and I wish I could have got a closer shot of the pants. They were really dirty and worn. Uncle Sam needs to do more laundry.

4th of July is also about just how awesome we are, plain and simple. I think this video sums it up. It's called..."AMERICA--FUCK YEAH!"



I don't know what's my favorite part: the fact that 90% of the video is made using the Wii's Super Smash Brothers...or how the song just dies when it gets to "reading."

Happy July 5th - Part I

Is it over? Sadly, I think it almost is. What a July 4th weekend!!!

On Friday we witnessed America's most famous hockey mom step down as the Governor of Alaska...and I was just about to not make a single mention of it...until I noticed that Palin is on Twitter with the handle of "AKGovSarahPalin" publishing the "truth" about her resignation.

It's insane how oblivious she continues to be. Yes, Sarah, people ARE going to wonder if there's more to the story when you resign from your elected post on the Friday afternoon before July 4th. Add a half rambling speech hastily put together in your back yard to the mix and they're really are going to start to wonder. You're not fighting the good fight or putting the "smack down" to the lies; rather, it's called common curiosity.

No word if she's giving up her Twitter account as well. At the very least she needs to remove the "AKGov" part.

I'm going to miss Sarah simply because she's nuts and the cause of most of her own problems (including Bristol). It's like driving by a car accident: it's difficult not to stare and be amazed by what just happened.

I've got to give credit to my dad who called me out saying I was mourning her resignation as she's a good source of fodder for me. In a word: yep.

The best conspiracy theory about Palin's resignation came from Jamie: "I think she sold the state to the Chinese and she's getting out before the new tenants arrive."

Bye Sarah...you'll be missed for your comedic timing.

Happy July 3rd

Just in case you think your eyes deceive you...that's a 12 pack.

"I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner..."

Carl sent this me a while back and I finally got around to posting it. Don't let that deter you from proceeding...this is truly an item worth beholding. I give you the Three Wolf Moon Official T-Shirt.

Pretty sweet, huh? If you don't believe me, here are some actual testimonials from Amazon.com:

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!)

It should also be noted that customers who reviewed this item also reviewed "Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gallon" and "Wolf Flag T-Shirt."

I Pity the Fool Who Don't Store His Files in Me (yuck)

Jamie sent this to me with the subject line "I've found your new thumb drive."



Now, I love Mr. T and love Clubber Lang, but I don't want a mini Clubber Lang humping any part of my laptop or workarea. I have standards.

So Spock, a Butcher, and a Piece of Meat Are Walking Down the Street...

Seriously? What. The. Fuck.

So many questions...so many damn questions.