2012 - A Very Expensive Comedy

When I saw the preview for the movie 2012 I thought it looked like The Day After Tomorrow 2 just with an even bigger budget. You know, lots of destruction/flames/apocalyptic events, people screaming "run(!!!)," and a plot just enticing enough to remind you that there is a plot.

I saw 2012 this week after Kim prompted me multiple times ("WE NEED TO SEE THE DESTRUCTION") and here's the official Spoonslapped review from Jamie.

In an attempt to save time, instead of pointing out all of the things that were so absolutely incorrect about "2012", I will list the facts that the film got right:

• There is a planet Earth
• People do live on it
• These people are divided into regions called countries
• Those countries have leaders
• There is a thing called science
• People who do science are called scientists
• People keep time by counting the revolution of the Earth around our star, the Sun
• These revolutions are called years
• 2012 will be one of those years

Other than that, things like physics, astronomy, geology, economy, and politics all followed rules that would not make sense in our simple world.

Neither did the people in this world act as they do in ours. If they were lucky enough to be cast as a complex character, a few of the film's actors were able to portray nearly two dimensions onscreen. But most were stuck with less than one.

Apocalyptic Super Facts!!! Here's what I learned from this well-researched movie:

• tsunamis can make it over the Himalayas
• neutrinos can mutate
• all ark doors must be shut before the engines can start
• a limo ride from West LA to Yellowstone takes only a day

That being said, this is by far Roland Emmerich's best film. And I don't mean that in a snarky, Michael Bay's "Transformers" way. It was actually fun--re-watchable even. Emmerich finally said "fuck it" and went as big as possible without taking any of it seriously. We didn't laugh at the movie, we laughed at the giant-sized joke he was telling. Michael Bay is deadly serious about his movies, and that's one of the main reasons they stink. But it was clear to me that with "2012" Emmerich had just made the most expensive comedy of all time. Maybe it wasn't as broad as "1941" or "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World", but it was just as funny.

So if you go to the theater expecting the most ridiculously-massive action sequences of all time and a lot of silly laughs, the movie is well worth the time

Training Video

This is was sent to me from my friend, Rich. Here's part of the email he sent me:

"Saw this in my masters class the other day. It's from a 70's navy liquid oxygen safety training movie."



Training movie or clip for a 70's porn film? I guess, way back in the day, it was pretty much the same.

Douchebag v. Douchebag

This is for my friend, Eric Birth, who is from Philly.

Eric, this explains a lot.

Love, Peakie.

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Pixies Tonight!

Awesome. Kim has never seen them before so it should be fun. The last time I saw them...I was a junior in high school.

Here's a clip from last night's show.

Free Candy (some with F-bombs)

Every year I preach to people how many trick-or-treaters I get at my house every Halloween, but there's seems to be an aura of disbelief that still lingers. This year I counted the amount of people we handed candy to....but before I reaveal that number here are some more Halloween observations:

• Vampires are by far the outfit of choice.
• Lots of Transformers.
• There were a few GI Joe characters, but definitely less than 10. Even the kids know it was a shitty movie.
• On the superhero front, I saw about 20 Batmans, 10 Spider-mans, 1 Iron Man, 1 Wolverine, and 1 Captain America.
• The later you come to my house asking for candy, the greater the chance of a F-bomb being dropped. This little ditty was released at 10:30 PM: "What gave away that we were f***ing done for the night? Was it the f***ing porch light that was off?"

At the end of the night, we gave out candy 681 times. A few of those were repeats, but not more than 50.

More Evidence That Darth Vader was a Woman

The prosecution rests.

Check out the rest of Vader's adventures into motherhood here.

Two Ewoks Take Over the Today Show

Hey, it's been a while...how are ya?

This video confirms *everything* I've always suspected:
* Han Solo always wanted to be a weatherman
* Darth Vader was a woman
* Ewoks get really rowdy when they've had too much to drink.

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Go See This Movie

Absolutely brilliant.